Parents with low emotional intelligence4/15/2023 Now I’d like you to try and remember being four years old and a time when you felt angry or sad or scared or you didn’t understand what was going on. If you were lucky, the adults in your life gave you lots of space to express how you feel without trying to fix what was going on. Then they open their arms and you snuggle, take another deep breath, feel better and go back to building your tower. This adult says: “Tell me all about it.” They don’t try and fix it, and they don’t say to you: “Don’t worry, you can build another one.” They just let you feel all that you’re feeling. And then all those feelings come bubbling out of you - frustration, anger, helplessness. In their eyes, there’s compassion and you feel that their body is calm and regulated. They get close, get down to your level, and ask: “Honey, what happened?” You are outraged, and you feel all these feelings bubble up inside - hurt, panic, frustration and helplessness. You’re building a tower, and you’re really proud of it.īut then the next minute another child comes running along and kicks over your tower. I’d like you to take a moment and imagine you’re four years old. This post is part of TED’s “How to Be a Better Human” series, each of which contains a piece of helpful advice from people in the TED community browse through all the posts here.
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